Thursday, November 19, 2009

Today I will FINALLY blog :)

So, its been awhile since I've done a REAL blog post... lets catch up shall we?? Today makes my 1 week of being engaged! Crazy huh!?! Ya tell me about! I'm SO SO SO excited! I'll get to that story in a minute but first, I had a friend ask about how Kasey and I actually got together and I told her I'd blog it... which I've failed to do until NOW! YAY for me remembering to do something :) (oh and I'm feeling like a narrator from a really bad movie today just as a heads up) anyways Kasey and I started dating back in February but our story does not begin there, lets go back in time to 1997... It was a time for awkward phases, weird teeth (for my age anyway) and finally starting to get some good fashion back after the awful setback the nation had in the 80's and early 90's. This was my 8th grade year of Jr High School. I was a Falcon and I had more confidence that I should have. Finally not being a lowly 7th grader I thought I had it made! I was loving my friends, my teacher and ya even my classes. I was never a nerd but I always did enjoy school, I think mostly for the social scene but either way I normally was excited to go back to school because by the end of summer I was pretty bored no matter how much I had done. Anyways on to the interesting stuff! I was a semi drama geek and had class after lunch so I was normally there a little early. That's where I first saw him. The 'bad boy' that stole my heart. His name.. Kasey Michael Fackrell. Plain and simple I had one of the biggest crushes of my life! Thankfully I was quite the outgoing kid (even though now I'm kind of shy sometimes) I went right up and talked to him and from then on I was 'in love' well as much as I could be at 13. Nothing more than a friendship ever developed though, and I was stuck day dreaming about what it would be like if we 'dated' I tried everything I could to woo him and nothing worked. I guess I was just to much of a goodie for him, that or it could have been my REALLY bad hair cut! I was pretty cunning though and was able to get a picture of him

Isn't he the cutest thing you've ever seen?? Anyways... I remember seeing him at the end of that year at 7 peaks when all the 8th and 7th graders got to go for school, and he was with this girl, (that I was friends with) and I was SO upset!! I told my best friend and we talked about how stupid it was, and even though he did come and give me a hug in his swim shorts... (and yes I still remember the hug, he was soaking wet from the water slide and I was dry and afterward my front side was dripping....)I wanted more than a hug... My 8th grade year ended with me putting little pink hearts around his picture in the yearbook and dealing with reality. I watched him date this girl in high school and yes I was still jealous, WHY did he have to keep dating people I was friends with and not me?!? Please keep in mind I did not sit around and mope about him my whole life. I did date other boys and had a great time in school I met 'the one' twice. One of which I'm sure you're all very aware of and who is still one of my closest friends. Kasey left Orem High and went else where and all I knew at the time was he wasn't coming to school anymore. I was so sad, but we kept in touch mostly over the phone and email, but he was always someone that I made an effort to talk to. I got engaged and Kasey joined the ARMY so we didn't really talk much. I did send him a few emails via myspace and when he came home to visit I made sure to call him and see him. I remember one time when Ty and I were on a 'break' and Kasey was in town, as I was leaving my apartment I was thinking... "ok Ashlee this is it, you're going to kiss him tonight" but when I saw him I couldn't do it. The timing was SO off... Kasey was home for his Grandpa's funeral and Kasey and his grandpa were best friends, and he was in no mood for kissing, and when I saw how devastated he was, I wasn't either. So it was ice cream and a hug! He went back to KS and I went back to Tyler. I got a call from him one day telling me he was getting deployed to Iraq in the fall but that he would be home for a few days before and we were going to hang out I was SO excited! Until I got another call that he was going to stand me up because him and his buddies were going to Vegas instead! But as things happened he was shipped off to Iraq and I was coming to an end with Tyler (which is a ENTIRE story of its own) I still sent him emails and we talked. I got his APO and was getting a package ready to send to him, at the same time I finally added him to my Yahoo messenger contact list in the beginning of January and we started talking every single day online. The timing was actually perfect, he would be getting ready for bed and I was at work so we were able to chat for a few hours every day. It was pure heaven! I instantly fell back in love with him and it was just our luck that he was coming home for his mid-tour leave in February. Everything was perfect and we decided to become a couple. Everyone thought I was crazy for wanting to exclusively date someone that was in Iraq, but I knew that it wouldn't matter if he were here or 7000 miles away my feelings for him would not change so what was the point of pretending and going on meaningless dates? I'm not going to say having him in Iraq was easy because it wasn't, I had breakdowns ALL of the time and Kasey was there for me, he put up with my mood swings, my tears, my screaming... all of it, and he never complained... he just told me he loved me! I think that brings us almost up to date! (if not you can read my previous posts about him to catch yourself up) October 3rd was the best day of my life (so far) Kasey was home from Iraq and Annie and I had driven out to welcome him home! It was our first kiss our first hug our first time holding hands and gazing into each others eyes all over again. It had been almost 8 months since we'd last seen each other or kissed each other, it felt new again and it was finally our turn to be happy. Last Thursday I took the day off work to spend some time with him since he was only in town for a couple of weeks and had to leave on Sunday. We went to lunch with some of my friends and then decided to head up to Wendover for a day trip to get some cash since he had gone on Tuesday and didn't do so well, he wanted to make some money back. Kasey must know me pretty well because as we were driving he asked me if I wanted to write my name in the salt flats with rocks. (If you've never seen the salt flats in real life you will have NO CLUE why he would ask this but see the picture below and then visit the flats!) Anyways of course I wanted to, I thought that was the coolest thing ever and I've always wanted to stop but never have. But he kept driving and when I asked him about it he said he just wanted to find a place with alot of rocks, we finally pulled over and got out, Kasey had been driving so I made it to out of the car first and when I looked at the salt there were already words written in the sand that said 'Marry Me' I turned around to tell him (and half thinking what a weird coincidence) but when I turned around there he was with my ring! Shock went through me because I thought for sure he was going to ask me at new years I walked over to him and the little opened box and honestly I don't remember what I said... it was either Yes or Of Course but you'd have to ask him! I was shaking even though he thinks I was just cold. We kissed and then he put the perfect ring on my finger and we kissed again :) We still went to Wendover and hung out for a few hours, I called and text everyone I could think of let them know and that was that. It was perfect! So now it's on to planning the big day..... :)

PS- Sorry for the extremely long post!

Monday, November 9, 2009

I totally stole this of Emilys Blog :)

((60 RANDOM QUESTIONS))

1. WHAT IS IN THE BACK SEAT OF YOUR CAR RIGHT NOW?
A fog machine and some of Morgans candy wrappers

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WENT OUT TO DINNER?
Last week

3. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE WORD OR PHRASE?
lame

4. NAME 3 PEOPLE WHO MADE YOU SMILE TODAY?
Kasey, My cousins little boy, and a lady at my work

5. WHAT WERE YOU DOING AT 8AM THIS MORNING?
Sitting at work :(

6. WHAT WERE YOU DOING 30 MINUTES AGO?
Invoices

7. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO A STRIP CLUB?
No

8.WHAT IS THE LAST THING YOU SAID OUT LOUD?
Have a good day.

9. WHAT IS THE BEST ICE CREAM FLAVOR?
Chocolate for sure!

10. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU HAD TO DRINK?
Lemonade

11. WHAT ARE YOU WEARING RIGHT NOW?
Jeans and a sweater

12. WHAT IS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
A chicken sandwich

13. HAVE YOU BOUGHT ANY NEW CLOTHING ITEMS THIS WEEK?
I got some new jeans and a super cute new bra over the weekend...

14. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU RAN?
yesterday for about 1 min to catch up to someone :) does that count?

15. WHAT IS THE LAST SPORTING EVENT YOU WATCHED?
Football yesterday

16. IF YOU COULD GO ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD, WHERE WOULD YOU GO?
Iceland!!

17. EVER GO CAMPING?
All the time

18. DO YOU GO TANNING?
In the spring and summer ya but it doesn't help

19. HAVE YOU EVER LOST ANYTHING DOWN THE TOILET?
gross, NO

20. WHAT IS YOUR GUILTY PLEASURE?
Hmm... not sure I want to tell you that ;)

21. DO YOU DRINK YOU SODA FROM A STRAW?
If its a fountain soda then yes... but I'm not drinking soda anymore so...

22. WHAT DID YOUR LAST TEXT SAY?
ya

23. ARE YOU SOMEONES BEST FRIEND?
I hope so!

24. WHAT ARE YOU DOING TOMORROW?
Working

25. ARE YOU IN LOVE?
100%

26. LOOK TO YOUR LEFT, WHAT DO YOU SEE?
Time Cards

27. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR WATCH?
Silver

28. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU THINK "AUSTRALIA"?
All the things that can kill you there!

29. LIKE ROLLER COASTERS?
They are probably one of my most favorite things!

30. BIRTHSTONE?
An Opal

31. DO YOU GO IN TO EAT AT FAST FOOD PLACES OR GO TO THE DRIVE UP?
Depends on my mood and time frame.

32. DO YOU HAVE ANY FRIENDS ON FACEBOOK, THAT YOU ACTUALLY HATE?
Ya.. NO

33. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
Cesar (a guy at work)

34. ANY PLANS TODAY?
Hanging out with Kasey

35. WHERE ARE YOU AT RIGHT NOW?
At work.. where else would I be in the middle of the day?

36. BIGGEST ANNOYANCE IN LIFE RIGHT NOW?
Not living in the same state as Kasey :(

37. LAST SONG YOU LISTENED TO?
Lady Gaga's Paparazzi

38. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
The 4th Kind

39. ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO ANYTHING?
Nickel

40. FAVORITE PAIR OF SHOES?
I have a few.

41. ARE YOU JEALOUS OF ANYONE?
At the moment no, but I do get jealous and it SUCKS!

42. ARE YOU MARRIED?
No

43. IS ANYONE JEALOUS OF YOU?
I doubt it

44. WHAT TIME IS IT?
14:52

45. DO ANY OF YOUR FRIENDS HAVE CHILDREN?
Yes most of them do

46. DO YOU EAT HEALTHY?
I try..

47. WHAT DO YOU USUALLY DO DURING THE DAY?
Work

48. ANY VACATIONS PLANNED?
Cali in December for my Gpas 80th birthday party!

49. DO YOU USE THE WORD "HELLO" DAILY?
Yes.

50. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT?
2

51. HOW OLD WILL YOU BE TURNING ON YOUR NEXT BIRTHDAY?
25

52. FAVORITE BOY AND GIRL NAMES?
I can't tell you cus then you might steal them lol

53. FAVORITE COLOR?
Green

54. WHERE WERE YOU AT THE LAST TIME YOU KISSED SOMEONE?
Kaseys house

55. FAVORITE PLACE TO EAT?
depends on my mood... I don't really have a favorite

56. ALL TIME FAVORITE MOVIE?
I love alot of movies!!!

57. COLOR OF INK YOU PREFER?
Navy Blue or Black unless I'm on IM then its normally pink or purlple or some rainbow effect :)

58. IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB IN THE WORLD, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Either a national geographic photograper or i'd love to own my own bakery!

59. WHERE DO YOU WANT TO BE RIGHT NOW?
With Kasey...

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Halloween...

I feel like I should be writing something about last Saturday, and posting really awesome Halloween pictures (since it is one of the best times for ridiculously awesome pictures) but I don't have any... Here is how my Halloween went down. Woke up around 10am in Kansas City MO went to breakfast at the Cracker Barrel, drove to Fort Riley KS, cleaned Kasey's room and had some pizza for dinner with Fackrell and Scronce, watched Ghost Hunters while Kasey took a nap, waited very impatiently for 12am so Kasey could get released, spent an hour watching Kasey do paperwork and then at 1am on November 1st we got in the car and started our 15 hour long drive to come home!! Kasey did most of the driving but I did help out a little! I'm so glad to have him home for a couple of weeks! I wish he could stay forever but instead Uncle Sam will be stealing him back on the 14th :( hope you all have a MUCH more eventful October 31st than me!

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Wedding Dress for SALE!!!

For those of your that don't know me, I was engaged once a long time ago... ok so maybe it wasn't so long ago. Well the time has come and I'm selling my BEAUTIFUL wedding dress and head piece. It was only worn once for bridal pictures. If you or anyone you know is interested please contact me!!! Its a size 10 temple ready gown, faux button up back with zipper, flattering square neck line, short sleeves, full train with button up bussel, tulle overlay, beautiful bead work all the way to the train, and a stunning A line style!! Asking price is $400.00 or best offer, this price includes the head piece in the photo below ($85 value) if you want more info or would like to try it on please email me at photobyashlee@yahoo.com




Friday, October 16, 2009

Better than me

Kasey is SO much better than I am! I have major trust issues, and its not his fault.. its just been the last 10 years of mine. It really stems back to high school, I was 'so in love' with the guy I was dating and everyone really thought we would get married. He even gave me a 'promise ring' and we were perfect. That is until we were in the parking lot going into a high school dance, I was all dolled up and he was looking pretty good if I remember correctly. I was about to open my door and he grabbed my hand and said "I don't think this is working out" I couldn't breath I couldn't believe what he had just said so of course I asked for clarification "what do you mean?" and with his emotionless face I will never forget the next words that came out of his mouth.
"I can't date you... What if something better comes along?"
those words have ruined every relationship I have been in since! I don't blame him, he was just a young stupid high school boy that didn't know better and even though we've stayed friends and he's told me that was the biggest mistake of his life, I've always known that I was just the filler for anyone that I've dated while they were waiting to find something better. It doesn't help that my only two serious bf's after that both cheated on me and then left for their 'something better'
Kasey deserves the very best because that's what he is! He is the most amazing person. I am trying SO hard to forget my past and move on, and even more so today! I hardly ever fight with Kasey, lol its kind of hard to fight with someone you never see :) but yesterday I was super depressed for who knows what reason, and I just wanted to talk to him on skype but he had his friends in his room so he said get on yahoo (at this moment my mind FREAKS) I didn't want to talk to him on yahoo, wasn't that the point of him coming home was now we had real ways to talk, like skype and the cell? My mind started going crazy asking why would he only want to talk to me on yahoo?? Is there someone in the room he doesn't want me to see? He has been acting 'busy' all day... I wonder who he is really with and what he is really doing? I've been told it all 'i love you why would you think I'm cheating on you' and 'I'm just hanging out with the guys' and 'your acting crazy' or even 'I'm busy working i can't talk to you right now' and its all been lies because they were with 'her' So I being the crazy emotional mess of a person I am, I say something about it (even though I'm 99.9% sure that its all just being made up in my head) then the arguments began... and I totally agree with him (today) He has NEVER given me a reason to doubt his honestly or faithfulness and we have been though ALOT of crap together! Its funny how much you can go through with someone when they are 7000 miles away! I think he said it best when he pointed out that 'shit happens' I just need to realize that he is different. Kasey is like a fairytale I never thought I would have. He says the things you only hear in movies and he treats me like the most important thing in the world, I guess to him... I am. Which I still have a hard time with, because of other things that have happened in my life (which are still to personal to blog to the world about) When I saw him in KS for the first time in 7 months I was shaking I was so excited! I was talking to Annie and she was telling me how cute we are together and how sweet he is on me (lol totally a 50's phrase) and I asked her why and she said because the second he saw me his face light up and he started walking as fast as he could to get to me. Which I was oblivious to at the time because I was so excited to see him all i could worry about was trying not to cry or pass out! I love that he gets SUPER angry when I wont kiss him in public because he 'doesn't care who sees it, he wants everyone in the world to know he loves me' I love how he stares at me in the car because he 'thinks I'm so pretty' (I keep telling him I'm taking him to the eye doctor for that!) and I absolutely LOVE when he puts his hand on my cheek and then moves it back to my neck and then pulls me in for a kiss... and the way he rolls his eyes at me every time I have to stop in the baby clothes section of any store because the clothes are just to freaking cute to not look at! Anyways... I just keep praying that he never realizes how much better he is than me and how he deserves so much more than me and moves on to his 'something better'

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Day One... plus my life

So yesterday was the first day of my 'starvation' if you will :) I didn't find myself wanting to eat because I was hungry, more because everyone else around me was eating! We had a meeting first thing in the morning and all my co-workers were chowing down on candy the whole time and kept asking if I wanted some, not only did I decline because I had to but also because it was 9:30am and I didn't really want any, but at that moment I realized that I am a social eater. I probably have gained 30+ lbs simple from eating just because everyone else is eating! The only other thing I had a hard time with yesterday was being cold and REALLY wanting some hot cocoa, and it was my nephews birthday so I sang and then watched everyone else chow down on cake lol. I guess there are worse things in life right? I was extremely excited when I got on the scale today and I had lost 2.4 lbs!! That was enough motivation to get me through today (so far) I figure at this rate I should be around 20-30lbs lighter by the end of the month, which is absolutely insane! I'm going for the 30 that way if I gain a few back I wont be AS sad about it! This 2 liters of water a day is also a struggle, not so much the drinking it part, but the having to go pee every 20 mins super sucks! My boss probably thinks I'm crazy! I didn't tell anyone at work partly because they are all boys and partly because I'm still the new girl and I don't know them very well so its kind of out of place for me to announce that I will be on a VERY strict diet for the next month. Good thing I'll be driving for 15 hours on Halloween and wont be sitting there munching on candy waiting for trick or treaters :) Speaking of that drive I think that is the only thing that keeps me going these days, is the count down until I see Kasey again. I never knew it could be like this. Its so awful! I thought I would be just fine, but honestly I feel bad for any one that has to be around me! I snap at everything and I just want to sit around and not do anything. I find myself thinking what is the point of doing anything if he's not doing it with me? I think that's a good and bad thing! Good that I'm that in love with him that I just want to be with him all of the time but bad because he is almost becoming my addiction. I'm hoping that I'm only addicted because I hardly get to see him. I guess its like chocolate ice cream... I ALWAYS want chocolate ice cream but I hardly ever actually go and get it, so for weeks I'll be craving it and then as soon as its gone I start wanting it again because I know I wont actually get more for a month or so, and if someone asks me if I want vanilla I say no because I don't want to waste my ice cream joys on plain ol vanilla... WOW I can't believe I just compared my bf to ice cream lol... Things are going good though, I'm excited about losing weight, I'm counting down the days until this diet is over so that I can really work out again, and in 15 days I will be getting on a tiny little plane flying to KS to see Kasey, and this time not for 2 days but for 2 weeks!!! I can't hardly wait! He really is the best thing that's happened to me in a REALLY long time and I am so lucky to have someone that loves me so much and treats me so well! AND to top it all off he still puts up with all my crap! He is still going to heaven for that, I don't think I've met anyone so patient in my life!

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

When I grow up...

I always wanted to be a writer... I've just never been that good :) I figure it's just like anything else right? You just need to practice to become better! So I'm going to join an Article Directory and start writting! Maybe then I'll update my blog more too!!